The importance of giving and accepting help 🙏🏻

Hiya guys! Last month has been very busy one so I couldn’t take much care of my blog, sorry about that.

The topic I’m going to write about is quite close to me. First of all, I think I should clarify what inspired me to write this post – besides a couple of episodes from the last 3 or 4 years of my life.
In this article (I’m really sorry that some of you won’t be able to understand it), the title of which could be translated into Stop telling me “You look good the way your are” when I complain about being fat, a 39-year-old woman describes the difficult relationship she has always had with her body and everything that concerns being healthy, like food and exercise. After years of trying to lose weight but gaining it all again and pretending that she didn’t mind being overweight, she gave up fooling herself and faced the actual truth – she didn’t feel comfortable in her own body and that completely affected her habits and her behaviour with those around her. That’s when words from others, as she says, can make us feel even more uncomfortable with ourselves. As a result of what people have told her during the past years, she thinks that most people (like the “fit and beautiful” friends she includes more than once in the article) will never understand how it feels to live in a body that you can’t feel fully as your own – they’ll just go with some false piece of advice like “You should love yourself more” or “Don’t focus on your weight, your beauty is inside you” and that’s it, they’ll keep being at peace with themselves and you’ll keep hating your picture in the mirror.

What now? Oh yeah, right, it’s my turn. As I’m just 20, I can’t say that the “troubled relationship” I have with my body started decades ago. It’s more like an “extension” of that period of time we all call puberty.
I guess it all started in 2011. I was almost 16 years and a series of shitty, heart-breaking episodes happened that year. I went through my first break-up, I broke my right foot and I lost all my old friends for no particular reason (the last two things might have been connected, but I guess we’ll never know). Music, food and the Internet were the only distractions I had. And that’s when my ascent to obesity began. My mum immediately noticed that and started taking me to various nutritionists, but I just couldn’t be bothered to be healthy. Then, in 2013, something happened. Two things that made me realise that maybe I should have loved myself I little bit more that I used to. First of all, someone besides my mother had told me that I was fat and that I needed to start going to the gym. Then, during the second half of the same year, I started liking this boy, a still-not-too-famous American musician who is older and way fitter than I was/am, and that made me feeling like I was inferior. I started to feel ashamed of what people (and him) might have thought of me as an overweight young lady.
So I started dieting and exercising, because I wanted to. In 2014 I lost 10kg in six months, from March till November. Now I weight 68kg, that boy still doesn’t like me THAT way, and people still love me for what I am as a person.

 

What changed then? I’ve changed. I’ve learnt that the key to growing up is to recognise what your limitations are and overcome them. Sometimes you may not achieve a goal as soon as you’ve hoped. But you will, eventually.. Just try harder than you think you can.

But what does all this has to do with the title of this post? I’m going to explain that in a moment.

If it wasn’t for some people that have supported me the whole way through (and still support me), I’d probably never come to the conclusion above. So, here’s a message to those who have to help a loved one with the same problem: listen to what they have to say when they tell you that they don’t feel comfortable with their body for this or that reason, support them (go to the gym together, for example), and most of all, remind them why they are fighting their war when they seem willing to give up. Just don’t let them.

Love, Vica x